Defining oneself can be difficult--Kris

I am a lifelong native of Ohio, despite my grievances with the balmy, humid conditions of the summer season of this temperate zone. Come July, I usually find myself wishing to be in the dry air if New Mexico or the Virgin Islands, or yearn to travel north in search of the milder summers that states like Michigan provide. I hold nostalgic feelings and relics to a high regard, but try to live in the now as best as I can, looking forward optimistically. I passionately collect anything that I feel is exceptional, rare on this earth. Mostly irreplaceable relics that have formerly belonged to US Presidents, business tycoons, etc. I recently purchased a handkerchief that belonged to FDR! It has his initials intricately sewn on it, it light blue. It is from the late twenties, before he became President. I love cats, domesticated or wild. If a cat presents itself in a situation, I will drop whatever I am doing or whomever I am talking to in an attempt to get into that felines mind and win its favor. If I live to be an octogenarian, I will probably try to instigate a death by large cat, if there are still any around by that time. I like they way they slink when they hunt, they way they toy with their prey and often devour it afterwards. The thought of my carcass rotting away in a box underground...I find very unsettling. I like other critters a lot too, and most people that I meet. One of my favorite collections is of tiny dead critters that I have found. Little lizards, snakes, tiny turtles and huge insects. I really enjoy making people laugh for some reason, I just think life is very funny and every ounce of humor should be extracted enthusiastically. I haven't owned a television since 2003, but I love watching sitcoms on DVD - such as Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Eastbound & Down, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and 30 Rock. I have a very unpractical love affair with vintage German automobiles - simple German engineering is the finest there ever was, but everything needs maintenance over time. I have, just now, developed carpal tunnel syndrome, so this interview is over.